I'd rather cross the plain with a handcart!

Not that anyone seems to read this anymore, but I thought I would document what is going on for my own benefit. My February Funk has hit. My mind is sufficating. I am again at that point where I am holding on by the skin of my teeth. I have tried to use a light therapy light which has helped a little. I had myself tested on my levels of Vitamin D (I was low. Like 21 and 32 to 100 is normal) and was prescribed a high dose of Vitamin D. I took it on Saturday morning and don't feel much different. The part that is most frusterating is that I am not just lying down and taking it and acting as if I can do nothing. No! I am fighting to have a sound mind every day, but I find myself upset over the smallest of things. I find myself blaming Kent for more than his share. I find myself struggling to push those negative thoughts out of my head, but they seem to attack me from all sides. When I get outside and exercise I do notice it helps, but so much of my brain is fighting that desire and making me want to lay in bed and (or sit in the house) and do nothing. I feel inside like I am paddling for all I am worth in the water and every time I see something to grab a hold of I feel like it's a false hope. I hate feeling this way, but I am so thankful to know that I only have to hold on until spring hits. Once the sun comes back I know that my mind will go back to normal like it always does. I just keep holding on hoping I can make it through one more day as I get closer to the spring.