Child's Learning Moments

As a parent you are your child's first teacher. Lately I have been allowed a lot of teaching moments with Braxton. Most of these teaching moments have occurred as he has found a young neighbor girl his age to play with.  Over the past few months I have heard things like, "Braxton, if you don't let me play in your room I'm gonna go home" and many variations off of that. At first I just listened and waited to see what Braxton would do. He had stress in his voice and would usually just comply. After listening to this go on a time or two I decided I was NOT okay with my son learning to be manipulated or bullied especially by a so called "friend." 

After the friend went home I told Braxton to come talk to me. I discussed what I have observed and asked him what he thought he should do. He being a giving child told me he should do what she wanted. I quickly corrected that reply. Some may think, but she's the guest so he should do what she wants. I was raised that way too and I don't disagree, but I also don't agree with it being a manipulated demand made of the guest either. If I am going to teach my son to be kind and courteous of others I believe that it is also my duty to teach him to be assertive and stand up for his own rights. I told him that he needs to tell his friend, "if you want to go home that's okay, but I would like for you to stay." Then at that point if she stays they can work out how to play together. The first time after that conversation that I heard "if you don't...I'm going to go home" I waited to see what Braxton would do. When he didn't say anything I called him down and reminded him what he needed to say. Although he had to ask me to remind him what to say again.

His friend didn't know quite what to do with that. So I took the opportunity to teach her as well. I told her that what she had been saying was called manipulation and that good friends don't manipulate their friends to do things they don't want to and I know that she wants to be a good friend. I haven't seen a great improvement yet, but we'll see. I do believe in giving children the tools to teach their friends the proper way to interact. After hearing some of the things I have heard from this girl it would be easy to tell her that Braxton can't play with her anymore, but I don't believe that is the Christian way to do things. I believe that it is through lifting kids up and teaching them that we make this world better.

Now I can't choose the consequences for her actions, but I can tell you that if she chooses not to learn the lesson that she will most likely loose a friend because I will help Braxton realize that he does not need to put up with that kind of treatment. I want my son to grow up to have the strength and ability to stand up for himself and perhaps if he is able to stand up for himself then maybe he'll have the confidence to stand up for those around him as well. That is the best way I know to protect my son from bullying and give the bullies the opportunity to learn some better people skills as well. Because in the end we are all just people trying to learn good skills to get us through this life.

Childhood Misunderstandings

On Monday I was turning some of Braxton's pants with holes into shorts. I pulled out the sewing machine and got to work. As I was working on hemming up these shorts Braxton was interested in the process so I started to explain it. As I got started I realized that I needed to put some thread on a bobbin. Braxton started to push the pedal on the machine and I told him to stop because I needed to thread the bobbin. He looked at me a little confused and asked, "You need to throw your mom in?" There is nothing like childhood misconceptions. We had a good laugh over that one together! I love my kid!

Count Your Many Blessings

For family night our lesson was on recognizing our blessings. Here are the blessings we came up with...
*Food
*A House
*A job
*Parks
*Books
*Our Family
*Talents
*A Yard
*Jars for catching butterflies
*The gospel
*Furniture
*Toys
*Beautiful pictures
*A Garden
*Music
*Shoes
*Libraries
*Friends
*Flowers
*Parents
*Braxton's T-Rex
*Father's Day
*Holidays
*Clothes
*Bed
*Good wife
*Kids
*Good Husband
*Water

This is what we were blessed with today...

Kent: Water
Marlies: The ability to mend clothes
Braxton: The kitchen
Cort: His brother Braxton

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DAD!

Some children were blessed with a dad who is sweet, sensitive, and who gives lots of hugs and kisses!

Others are blessed with a dad who can really cook.

But my dad can REALLY swing a club...

OOPS sorry dad...

I meant this club...

You really are a great dad! Thanks for all you do to keep our family fun! 

Couldn't have been raised by a better dad! Thanks dad! Happy Father's Day!

Love,

Marlies

I don't like Mice!

For any of you who are wondering if this is a current picture you can check recent Facebook updates and see that it is. :) Even down to the fact that I need a haircut.

First important point to make is that when your husband tells you to go get mouse traps don't put the task off until you too actually see the rodent. It makes for an awful mess to clean up. YUCK! Second point don't mess with fancy traps that promise to keep you from having to see the dead mouse. The old fashioned ones have been around FOREVER for a reason....they WORK! Oh and the bait I used to catch that delightful little creep was peanut butter, oatmeal, and cocoa.

Next point of interest, mouse catching should be a MAN's sport not a woman's sport! The problem with this mouse is that Kent saw him and then there was no sign of him (didn't even find droppings) so I just didn't make purchasing traps a priority. Then IT happened. I was watching TV after Kent had come to bed and saw something out of the corner of my eye. When I looked up I saw the mouse scurrying from the kitchen to back behind the piano. At first I flipped and then I thought OK you little bugger I can figure out how to get you out the door. I was feeling quite empowered. So here it is 10/10:30 PM and I have unhooked the speaker and lay it down to block the mouse from going downstairs. Then I got the chair out of there. Thinking that there was no where to go but out the open front door I lifted up the piano. Finally it scurried out and up the stairs!!! WHAT! I grabbed the broom and went after it in hopes to stop it. I did thankfully! With quite the loud shriek I might add. It came back down the stairs and into the kitchen. At that point I was defeated...slightly. I still had a ton of adrenaline pumping through my body so I decided to look up how to make a homemade trap. That way there was some way to catch this mouse and get ride of him. So the next morning I woke up and still hadn't caught a mouse so I went and bought the fancy don't have to see him traps. Still no mouse caught the next morning so I bought 8 of the old standard traps. Set all 8 and the next morning BAM! Dead mouse to deliver to the receptacle. All day yesterday I spent cleaning up droppings behind the stove and refrigerator and washer and....! Sad part is I don't think he had discovered the upstairs until I had tried to get him out the door. That was where he ended up losing his life.

Now I am hoping and praying that he really was the only one...and that HE was a HE and not actually a she looking for a place to re propagate. Now as I look at the floors EVERY little dark spot I see freaks me out!  For a while I think we will keep those other mouse traps up...just in case!

You're Not Alone

"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God...and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation,  that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven." -Orson F Whitney


I had marked nearly the entire chapter of Alma 32 in my scriptures, however, verse 6 was not marked. After this weekend it needs to be. In verse 6 it reads, "he beheld that their afflictions had truly humbled them, and that they were in a preparation to hear the word." Funny all my life I have thought that stake conference and general conference came at just the right time. It had never occurred to me that my life's experiences were preparing me to be humble as I listened to my Heavenly Father's words. I am so thankful that President Stoddard was directed to share this understanding with the stake at stake conference last night. I'm even more grateful the the Lord loves me enough to prepare me to learn. 


This leads me to my experience yesterday. The day started off well enough. I was looking forward to having a day to take care of my family after three days of service to a neighbor who was moving as well as a dear friend who was also moving. Cort woke up a little too early so when he was ornery at 10:30 in the morning I put him down for an early nap. Braxton enjoyed being outside and I enjoyed getting some gardening done. It was a nice quiet day for the most part. Cort had a 4 hour nap which made me so glad to see him when he woke up. I thought with that much sleep I'd have a happy baby. I thought wrong. 


Cort seemed happy at first. I got him up and got him some lunch. It was at the end of this late lunch when he was getting frustrated that I tried to get him to communicate what he needed. Apparently that made him mad so he decided to throw a fit. I took him back to bed. I was not going to tolerate a tantrum. After a few minutes I let him get back out and still I had a whiny and unhappy child. My tolerance level was becoming less and less tolerable! I put him back in his crib crying and found myself snapping and yelling at Braxton as if he had done something terribly wrong. At one point when he didn't hear me call him down the stairs I yelled his name in a way that would have even startled the dead awake. I barked some commands about cleaning up the things he got out downstairs and he quickly obeyed. 


At this point I realized how out of control I was and got down on my knees to ask my Heavenly Father for some help. I haven't personally seen Him perform anything that the world would call a miracle. Although, I do see Him perform miracles within my mind often. He will bring things to my recollection that only God could know about me. He first reminded me of a conversation my sister and I had about the importance of continuing to enjoy our hobbies. She encouraged me to keep up with my piano playing so I took my frustrations to the piano. I tried and tried to think of a good song to express my frustrations and nothing seemed to fit that feeling. Then to my mind came another type of song. One that had brought me comfort over and over in my struggles as a youth. The song, "You're Not Alone" by Michael McLean. 


When I was young I had felt a sting of loneliness as I longed for a boyfriend to show me the love that I so desired. Other times I had felt alone because of a break up or some other struggle that brings loneliness to a teen. It was amazing how those very same words brought comfort again with a new meaning. I'd like to share those words...


Here's a little song to help you get along. It will see you through when you're feeling blue, And though it's not profound, when you're feeling down, so down, Sing this little tune, and you'll feel better soon. You're not alone, even though right now you're on your own. You are loved in ways that can't be shown; your needs are known; You're not alone. And when you cry, you're just letting go of heartache deep inside. So tomorrow there'll be sunshine and sky and love close by; You're not alone. And I know that it's not easy, but I know that it won't last, 'Cause one that loves you more than me is sending blessings fast. You're not alone, say it one more time, "I'm not alone, "And even when it's hard to find the words, your prayers are heard; "You're not alone. You're not alone.


As I played and sang these words I realized that I did feel alone. My wonderful loving husband is working so hard to provide for my family which more often than not leaves me to do much of the nurturing of our children on my own. What a blessing to know, at just the right time, that while I may be on my own in this task I don't have to do it alone. My Heavenly Father has provided me the companionship of the Holy Ghost to help lead and guide me through the challenges of raising a family just the same way he lead and guide me through the challenges of being a teenager. As stated twice in stake conference, when we have the companionship of the Holy Ghost we are NEVER truly alone. The Holy Ghost knew exactly in what way I needed to be comforted and he lead me to that comfort. 


The song also reminded me that "I am loved in ways that can't be shown and my needs are known." I have often felt that because my love languages are primarily "quality time" and "words of affirmation" that when Kent isn't around to spend time with me that we are sunk. Kent is not a man of many words unlike his wife (as you can tell). :) It was so comforting to know that my Heavenly Father does love me and can give me that love at any time and also that he knows my needs. In fact I have been blessed to have my Father in Heaven help me to feel love from Kent at times when I have trouble feeling it myself. 


After I played this song and found my peace again I took a moment to apologize to Braxton and explain to him that I had made a mistake. I even shared with him how my Heavenly Father loved me and helped me to be better. I then walked upstairs to apologize to my young son. I don't know what he understands exactly, but his actions spoke volumes to me. I hugged him and said I was sorry and he nestled his little head right into my neck as if to say he too was sorry and glad that we could be friends again. 


When I concluded my night at the adult session of stake conference I knew that the Lord does indeed love me and that he is aware of my struggles and challenges. I also knew that he would be here for me in my times of need and that in that day he had prepared me to receive his words with a thankful heart. I pray that the next time I have the opportunity to hear the words of the Lord that I welcome the tribulations that will bring me to hear his words with a broken heart and a contrite spirit!