Myriad of thoughts…

There are a lot of thoughts I need to get out so I hope that they all go together in an understandable way. First off I feel I have learned and grown leaps and bounds this week. When I married Kent I was absolutely happy with my choice of husband. I did marry the love of my life and I was so excited to build a life with him. We had good times and struggled at times but generally we were happy. In my career efforts I always longed for the day when I would be able to bring a child into our home and be a stay at home mom. Nineteen months ago I did that and I have never looked back. This week I have had a reality check as to what happens in our marriages when we don’t continue to focus on them and give them the nourishment they need.
No, we are not desperately in trouble, but my marriage has been suffering deeply and I have been in denial for quite a while. I took all day Friday and read a book entitled, Avoiding Emotional Divorce, by Dr. John Lewis Lund. We received this book as a wedding gift and I am really grateful because it has opened up my eyes to our problems and given me solutions to turn our marriage into the bliss it once was and should now be. One of these solutions is to have a weekly date. This is a date without the children, outside the house, where you focus of each other and no one else. The last date Kent and I really had was in November and I LOVED it. It was as if I had started eating again after a long fast, but I had forgotten about that feeling until Saturday night when I was able to “eat” again.

Kent and I went and saw the movie, August Rush. I highly recommend the movie to anyone. The movie is about a boy who looses his parents and through a delightful musical journey searches to find them. As I watched the movie I was reminded of the desire of all God’s children to be in a loving family with a mother and father. It made me very grateful for the blessings of the temple and to be eternally sealed with my family. I also realized the kind of love and passion I should have for my family and how I should enjoy them. Kent and I are going to work extra hard to find that spark and love that makes a couple eternal. Our family can only have joy if the foundation is strong and we are going to do some strengthening. I challenge each one of you who is beginning to neglect your marriage to make date night and your spouse the HIGHEST priority after your relationship with your God.

In addition to the joy of our movie there were also a few tears on our date. I found out that my friend lost her premature baby after three weeks of life. My heart and prayers are with them. I took over a plant with a card today (Sunday) and I saw the pain in the father's eyes and I can only imagine what kind of pain their family is going through. My constant prayer is that I can listen to the spirit and if they are in need of something that I can be one to help. I am so saddened by their loss and yet grateful for the time they spent with him and the knowledge that they will be able to reunite with that precious boy again and enjoy raising him in the millennium. The only peace you can find is in knowing these kinds of truths!

In dealing with the trials of our relationship Kent and I have been trying to read the scriptures daily as a family. It has only been a week or two, but I DO see a difference in our home when the scriptures are a greater part of that home. I have all ready grown closer spiritually to my Savior and my Heavenly Father. My faith has grown two because I have so much hope and joy in the prospects of the future. I feel as if I am in control of my life and my choices. I know the Lord is on my side and I will continue growing closer to him through prayer and scripture study so I can be guided by His holy spirit. Truly, “This is life eternal that they might know thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent.” John 17:3