Come out, come out....

Dear Baby, 

Please come out so you can meet your brother. He's already got some great things planned for you. 

Why yes that is a pteranodon...

And he's practiced up on his diapering skills. We are ready when you are!!!

Trust in the Lord

34 O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.

35 Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.

2 Nephi 4:34-35

The end of a LONG journey.

It's 9:05 PM & I am as close to going to bed as I ever am at this time of night. I don't do early bedtime. As I lay in bed I feel the need to get my thoughts down. This has been a hard pregnancy for me. I have a week until my due date & yet I feel like I am done. I feel like I can't wait any longer. I am tired of feeling limited & tired & stretched to my max with little effort. I'm not writing this to whine or complain. I just want to have a record of these things. 

I want that record for two reasons. First because it's quite likely I may never go through pregnancy again and I think these thoughts & feelings may be valuable to myself or someone else later on. The second reason is because while these feelings are due to pregnancy which does have an end in sight I realized recently that there are those who deal with chronic pains and/or mental illness who may have similar feelings with no hope for light at the end of their tunnel. I want to remember these feelings as I relate to those suffering in the years to come. 

I want so much to allow my body the time to go into labor on it's own. I didn't have that option with my first & I didnt choose that option with my second. I do, however, think if I had given my body that option last time it might have gone on it's own. Because of that I want to give my body the opportunity to go into labor on it's own this time.

The struggle I am having tonight is that yesterday I had a dream that I had the baby & then last night I did have some light contractions that led me to believe that maybe my body was getting ready to go into labor all on it's own. I was actually excited about going in to labor last night or today, but I haven't had the slightest inkling that my body is doing anything except being tired, achy, drained & sore today. It's really discouraged me. 

I know there's only one way for this baby to go & that's out. I know it's going to happen soon, but for right now I can in some capacity relate to those who feel emotionally exhausted, mentally challenged & physically spent. I understand that feeling of not knowing if you can do this for one more day, or one more hour, or even one more minute. 

I want so much for it to be time for my body to perform its miracle. I am finally to the point that I am more bothered by the discomfort of carrying this baby than I am worried about the pain I know is coming in order to bring this baby into the world. I don't want to be this uncomfortable any longer. In the meantime I'll keep praying for my body to do what I know it can do & hope that it all works out in getting my children taken care of in the mean time. Please keep us in your prayers...Thanks!!!