Gratitude & Blessings in July

Fri 1 *I am thankful the house was mostly clean & we were able to get all the walls washed & carpets shampooed before we moved in. I am very thankful for a wonderful dinner with the Lafeens & the Berretts.

Sat 2 *We were blessed with so much help today that it only took us 2 and a half hours to move everything out of the apartment & into my house.

Sun 3 *I'm thankful I was able to overcome my loneliness by playing outside in the backyard with my boys. I was able to get a lot accomplished.

Mon 4 *I am thankful for the miracle of finding my wedding ring.

Tue 5 *I am so thankful for a garage to put my car in & an evening pulling weeds in the flower beds.

Wed 6 *I am grateful for peace & the encouragement of my Discovery Toys family.

Thur 7 *What a blessing to find Chooche's house by "accident" & to have his mom be willing to watch Braxton while I cleaned the apt.

Fri 8 *I was blessed to be able to get Cort to sleep so I could be productive in cleaning the apt.

Sat 9 *I am thankful for the knowledge I had to be able to get my breast milk back.

Sun 10 *I am thankful for an enjoyable Sunday in my new ward. I am thankful for Sister Brimhall & her daughters who made me feel especially welcome.

Mon 11 *I am so thankful for my mom's help cleaning the apt. & that Cort & I were able to get great naps.

Tue 12 *I am blessed to be done with the apartment. I thankful I was able to visit with the neighbors tonight.

Wed 13 *Being able to take Braxton swimming with Brian & Cheryl's families today was such a great joy.

Thur 14 *I am thankful for a helpful boy. I am also thankful for vacuumed carpets, Cort nursing well, & the great dinner I made.

Fri 15 *I am so thankful that Tia was able to come see my house & I was able to make her some dinner in between her games.

Sat 16 *I am full of gratitude that I was able to overcome a possibly discouraging event. I am thankful Cheryl came to the splash pad & we were able to have a great dinner with the Davidsons.

Sun 17 *I am thankful for being able to spend a Sunday in my room recording gratitude & listening to church songs. I am also grateful I was able to enjoy dinner with Brian & Shanalea & their family.

Mon 18 *Thankful for mowing the lawn, a visit to the horses, & getting a party booked.

Tue 19 *I am thankful for a great visit with my new hostess, getting fridges swapped out & learning of ancestors.

Wed 20 *What a blessing to get letters from both JR & Curt with positive words about me when I needed them. I am thankful also for time by myself to clean.

Thur 21 *I am thankful for a blessing from Kent & brownies & a visit from Melanie & Heather.

Fri 22 *What a blessing to have visits from both Jill Allen as well as Jill Washburn. I am also thankful for comfort & help from ancestors & that I was able to fix the disposal.

Sat 23 *I am thankful for the tender mercy's from the Lord allowing me to finally find peace. I am also thankful for uplifting music & lots of exercise.

Sun 24 *Today I needed the thank you that I got from the Sunday School teacher. I enjoyed the visit we had with Sister Deus (Braxton's primary teacher) & her family.

Mon 25 *It was nice to get a thank you from Jack for the cookies today. I am also thankful for a visit from Melanie & good Dt calls. It was great to have Spencer & Tiffani & the kids come up & visit us today.

Tue 26 *I had a great visit with Jamie today. It was so nice to talk to Jay. I enjoyed the summer rain & a good visit with the bishop.

Wed 27 *I am so happy about my full price return at Eddie Bauer so I could purchase new shorts. It was great to visit with Jay. I appreciated the invite from Jen McIllece.

Thur 28 *I am thankful for a safe travel to Vegas, meeting new friends & my knowledge of the gospel.

Fri 29 *I was blessed tonight to be inspired by the helicopters in the desert. I am thankful for a wonderfully delicious dinner.

Sat 30 *I am thankful for great knowledge & education. I am even more grateful I was able to accept & return Pam's phone call.

Sun 31 *I am thankful for a safe drive home from Las Vegas & Kent's willingness to apologize. I am thankful I was able to enjoy my boys & that Kent let me go to Vegas.

Grattitude & Blessings in June

Thur 30th *I am SO thankful for a great month end with Dt. Also very thankful for an exciting visit with the previous owners about our new house.

Wed 29th *I am thankful for Melissa's help getting so many things boxed up.

Tue 28th *The Lord has blessed us with a miracle of learning that Braxton's friend Chooche is also moving so that we can make sure to keep in contact for their sake. I am thankful we were able to get the papers on the house signed. I am also thankful Kori had a good party today.

Mon 27th *I am thankful I have been able to get lots of packing done.

Sun 26th *I am grateful we can come home & feel like we can be us with out judgement. I am so thankful to be home! I am thankful to hear that everything is ready to go for signing on our home & that Matt still wants to lease our apartment.

Sat 25th *I am thankful that Kevin came into our cabin at the right time to set Kent into the right mindset so we were both able to be adults & try to work out the problems with Brad, & Heather & Pam & Lloyd. I am thankful we were able to enjoy games with Bailey, Kaitlyn & Megan.

Fri 24th *I am thankful for a GREAT run. I am also thankful for a great day fishing & Braxton catching 5 fish with one of them being his first catch. I am thankful I was able to enjoy time with my own little family.

Thur 23rd *I am thankful for Kent's cell phone & the Avon site I found Nikki's phone number on. I am also thankful Braxton did well getting his Kindergarten shots today.

Wed 22nd *I'm thankful I was able to prioritize. I'm thankful Braxton had a great birthday party. I am thankful I was able to have a good laugh due to the ornery Walmart checker's bad attitude.

Tue 21st *I am grateful for a great run & getting the house mostly clean.

Mon 20th *What a blessing that we are going to be able to move into a home that appraises for more than we are purchasing it for. This home is proving to be a great blessing.

Sun 19th *I am thankful for my healthy baby back. I am also thankful Kent was able to check out & find a good camping site for my reunion. I'm thankful for my husband & his understanding. I am thankful for Brenda Van's present for Braxton & our cookies that allowed me to visit with Nate & Tiffancy (what good people).

Sat 18th *I am thankful we made it for Braxton's last T-ball game & that Cort was flexible even though he didn't feel good. I am thankful we had a good turn out to the Holdaway reunion & that I was able to get a pavilion despite no reservations being made.

Fri 17th *I am thankful for a great run & being very productive.

Thu 16th *I am thankful for perseverance & making myself work out.

Wed 15th *I am thankful for a great run with BOTH my boys! I'm overjoyed to finally hear that the bank approved the counter-offer on our house.

Tue 14th *I am grateful for a great visit with Holly & getting in exercise & calls today.

Mon 13th *I am thankful for a nice morning at the park with Dylan, Jamie & Alora.

Sun 12th *I am thankful for Tyson's enjoyable homecoming, a great visit with Kathy & Lloyd & them allowing me to nurse while at dinner. I am also thankful we were able to stop & see Chelsi on the way home.

Sat 11th *What a great day of overcoming! Overcoming my setbacks & running anyway! Overcoming my anxiety over seeing Kent's family & the day ended with a great dinner @ Darcy's.

Fri 10th *

Thur 9th *I am thankful that I had a few people attend my party & that I wasn't sad that it was only a few. I am thankful I was able to come up with a way to help Kent understand how his way of finances is limiting our choices.

Wed 8th *I am grateful for a nice BBQ dinner tonight with the new couples in Apple Honey. I am thankful I had the thought to stop & get buns for dinner tonight instead of waiting for Kent to go get them.

Tue 7th * I am thankful I was able to get all my invitations delivered with out my boys thanks to Melissa.

Mon 6th *I am thankful for a great run & for Jamie letting Braxton play at her house while I ran. I am also thankful for a great visit with Cindy Johnson.

Sun 5th *I am thankful for a spirit filled sacrament meeting. I am also thankful for waking up early & being able to make church early.

Sat 4th *I am thankful I was able to clean the house, enjoy Braxton's T-ball game, & attend an enjoyable birthday party for KC Decker.

Fri 3rd *I am so thankful for a fun date night going to the airport & welcoming Tyson home from his mission.

Thu 2nd *I am thankful for a great conversation with Carrie about using social media for my Dt business. Also for enjoyable visits with Kourtney & Angie.

Wed 1st *I am thankful for a fun night at the Dt meeting & also for an enjoyable play date with Jamie & Brittney & their boys from Braxton's preschool class.

Turning the Other Cheek

I love people. Perhaps it is a character flaw of mine, but I have always felt empowered by my ability to get along with so many different kinds of people. Over the past 6 weeks or so I have thought about my ability to get along with so many people & recalled their kind words about me. Words like kind, sweet, loving, giving, & caring come to mind. I have never really thought this to be my weakness, but perhaps right now they are a bit of a weakness.

The first week in June I had a thought about asking someone to host a Discovery Toys party for me because they are expecting a new baby this fall. Due to the fact that I have fallen in love with the baby line I thought this would be a great opportunity for her since I couldn't imagine that she would be in a position to purchase luxuries like toys for a new child. In my attempt to share the gifts with this woman it appears that I not only bothered the wrong person with my business, but I stirred up emotional toxins that are so strong they will not go away. I tried everything within me to discuss the issues with this woman & solve the problem, but my phone calls, emails & I'm sure any other contacts I might have attempted were all ignored. When I was finally given the opportunity to confront her not only did she accuse me of causing the problem she passed the problem on to another woman to deal with me. Which has not only stopped us from being able to come to a solution for this problem, but allowed the problem to grow & expand & include another individual.

The advice I was given from the other individual was to leave it alone. Just let it go. The funny thing is that I had tried to address the issue from the start so that it could be swiftly dealt with, miscommunication cleared up & placed behind us both. Now I don't know where to go. I honestly do want to let the issues go & I sincerely believe with time these wounds will eventually be healed, but due to the manner in which they have been handled there will most definitely be scarring. I have prayed & prayed for my Father in Heaven to help me let go, & I wonder if he's tried to help me & I am the one who will not let it go. I don't know which it is. What I do know is that I am quite often not at peace because of the issue. I feel betrayed, hurt, at odds & I don't know what my next move should be. My husband tells me he wants nothing to do with them which would be fine with me if it weren't for the fact that they are indeed family members.

How can this kind of thing happen in a family? How can family be so mistrusting, so dishonest & cold & judgmental? I have always thought that families were here to love & support one another & sadly this particular family member blatantly lied to my face multiple times. She told me of how she & her husband supported us and how happy they were for us to have success in our lives. Yet come to find out time after time she is not honest enough to tell me that she doesn't have any desire to throw a Discovery Toys party for me. Why? Does she think my feelings will be hurt? I don't care. We're talking about a consultant who previous to being a consultant wasn't even allowed to have parties because they caused so much discouragement for me. I am forced to reflect back & ask what else she has lied about. Is there any true depth or substance to the perceived relationship I thought we once had?

I have questioned whether or not to write about this issue because it has caused me such negative feelings, but I feel it is necessary to write these feelings down. Perhaps by writing them it will help me to move on, or maybe by writing them it will help someone else to not feel alone when they are confronted with a similar situation. Maybe I have a need deep down to be validated since no one in the situation ever validated my efforts when walking away & throwing a grow-up fit would have been SO much easier. If nothing else perhaps I need to leave these words so that no matter what happens with this issue & these family members my children know that I am trying to set the best example I can of working problems out instead of allowing a wedge to be created. Life is TOO short to allow problems to continue in families. I guess at this point I have done all that I can. I really do have to just give this problem to the Lord & ask him to take care of this burden for me. Although if you are reading this and you feel so inclined will you please pray for me & my family that we'll be able to have the peace in our home & our minds that we desire? Thank you!