Happy Due Date Baby

There is one thing that needs to be documented for my own purposes. Today was the due date of my second pregnancy. We lost this little soul at 9 week old and didn't know until about 12 weeks. We had to do a D and C because there were no signs of my body passing the fetus. At times I have questioned God as to why he gave me a child if only to take it away, but I think nine months later I have at least one answer. This little angel was sent to save the life of her mom and dad.

I'll be honest. About this time last year Kent and I had hit one of those "bad times" they speak of in marriage. We weren't completely unhappy or in danger of divorce or anything like that but our marriage was lacking the life and love that we had once felt. I was feeling like it was really struggling and needed some life breathed into it. The Lord knew that and He also knew how to rekindle our hearts. We were growing closer again as spring arrived, but I wouldn't say that we had become deeply in love again. That began to change as we had that joy of knowing we had created a life together.

We were a little leary of having another child because it was such an adjustment when we had Braxton, but the more we felt our child was to be a daughter the more we got excited. Sadly I didn't know how excited and how much I wanted her until the day I would find out that I had lost her. I'll most likely never forget that long drive to get the ultra sound when I pleaded with the Lord to let me keep my child. I really did want that baby.

I won't go into the details because at this point I don't see them being as important as the result. After about two weeks of sorrow, grief, and then recovery for both of us I learned to turn to the Lord and Kent for support. Kent was my rock and my hero. It wasn't until I started to feel I was overcoming my grief that Kent showed his feeling of grief. He had put aside his greiving and stayed by my side to be my strength. Now 6 months later I feel a connection to Kent that brings tears to my eyes when I think of it. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful husband and I am so thankful for that child who touched our lives briefly and helped me to fall more in love with her father. I for one believe that there was a soul attached to that body and I feel very connected to her. I don't know how things will work out in the hereafter, but I am thankful that I was allowed to see with clear eyes the wonderful man who I can call my best friend! Thank you baby! Happy due date.