Saturday, April 26, 2008
Break Through
The other day I read my former bishops blog about a conversation he and his wife had about the "Last Lecture" by Randy Pausche. I was inspired by his comments and decided I wanted to have this same conversation with Kent last night. I was frustrated when Kent was too tired to stay awake for it. As I lay in bed contemplating my frustration I had a realization. So often I get mad because finally the house is quiet and there is nothing to take his attention away from me and I try to converse with Kent and in two seconds he is asleep. Often times in my mind I translate this into "I am unloved," "I am not cared for," "I am unimportant" etc. As I contemplated these ideas yet again I stopped, took a step back, and looked at the situation for what it was. Kent was tired. That had nothing to do with his feelings for me. Nothing at all. I've been needing some conversational bonding with Kent and if I want to get some 10:30 - 11:00 pm is not the time to seek it. This is the proactive way that I came up with to deal with this need. From now on I am going to ask for this time before Kent is tired. Why wouldn't he give it to me. He does love me and he wants to spend time with me, but I can't expect that he can always do it on my terms. So from now on I am going to ask for this time earlier in the night after Braxton has gone to bed. That is how I am changing to make something that has been a negative aspect of our relationship into a positive one! I can make change happen and it CAN be positive!
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3 comments:
Way to go! I love it when I have "ah hah!" moments, aka "duh" monents (depending on who you ask.
I am so happy for you! You are being so blessed! I love seeing your active roll in trying to keep life positive! Thanks for sharing that insite! It helps us all see that even though we may feel a certain way sometimes that there are other alternatives. Way to think outside the (your) box!
You know, Marlies, it's really interesting that for how different every human being is, they are all inherently the same deep down! I have had those feelings on many occasions, and sometimes it's hard NOT to translate your SO's silence into meaning something negative. My current boyfriend is somewhat of a brooder, so I am often faced with his silence while he is working out a problem inside his head. He eventually opens up and tells me what's wrong, but it can take a couple of days- and with my past of having lived with a very negative person who would stomp angrily around the house it's very easy for me to start fixating on the silence and wondering what I did wrong, etc. So I've had to learn to let that stuff go! :-) So anyways, what I'm sayin' is congratulations!
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