Looking at the Glass

Braxton with a little color across the parking lot Braxton, Aaron, and Kylie
Braxton thinks his cousins are so funny
Braxton was enjoying crunching the leaves and having mom let him run in the road
Poor horse who always wants friends on the other side of the fence.

This horse is a great place to start off this blog today. He had a another horse in the corral with him a few years ago, but that horse died one day and this horse has been lonely ever since. The interesting thing is that the other horse was the friendliest of the two. This horse used to stay clear of people and have nothing to do with them. Once the other horse died this horse realized how lonely it was and has been seeking friendship with the children ever since.

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We sometimes are like this horse. We get stuck in our lives and don't extend ourselves out to others because we don't think we need them. We don't realize how lucky we are to have what we have until it is gone and then we long for something to fill that void. Just as the horse longs for friendship from anyone he sees.

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I have been fortunate to have a sense of gratitude for my life these days. Kent and I have lived in the same apartment complex for four and a half years now and have longed to have a house of our own. In talking to my neighbors and discussing the lives of others throughout the world I realize how good my life is. I have great neighbors close all around me. I no longer have pot-smoking party girls living close by and no longer have my drug dealer neighbor here either. I don't feel uncomfortable walking to the garbage can and I no longer look out the window to see if there are psycho people outside who I need to call the cops on.

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As I contemplate my life here in this apartment I know that Lord has blessed me to live here in this home and in this ward at this time. Kent and I have made so many friends here. When we started here the place was filled with good LDS families and couples. The ward was OK sized and we were welcomed and needed as soon as we came. These days the apartment have only a few LDS families and couples, and the ward barely has over 100 people in attendance in sacrament meeting.

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All of this makes me think of attitude. I could have come here and been arrogant about the fact that we moved into a ward with people who really struggle spiritually and financially. There are quite a few single mothers and inactives as well as semi active people. We have a subsidized housing unit next door and you know that those people struggle, but even still there are good people we know who have lived there.

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Yesterday, my good friend called and we talked on the phone for four hours. Later I got wondering how many people have friends that they can sit and talk to for four hours...let alone find four hours of things to talk about over the phone. As we talked she shared her frustrations of how her mom is so tight with her money when it comes to food. Her mom for years had to be very tight, and has developed a habit of only buying things on sale. Generally this excludes healthy foods because it's usually the prepackaged, fattening and sugary foods you find on sale. This came up as she has been working really hard to lose weight and can't seem to do it without changing her diet. This is hard because her family is living with her parents right now.

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The reason I bring up her mom is that while I love her mom to death I realized that she has always been one to complain about money. What I find interesting is that she has less children to feed on her husbands larger salary these days and she's still stretching her dollars. As I thought about the conversation I realized that life doesn't ever really get easier. You get more money and you find more places for it to go and you still stretch your dollars. What really makes the difference is your attitude about everything.

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Kent and I have our own times when we struggle, but I hope that no one knows really when that is because I don't want my attitude to change because of my circumstances. Kent and I have always been blessed with enough. We have enough money to keep a roof over our heads. Enough food to keep our bellies from hurting. Enough to keep clothing on our backs even if we do have to wash it more often. Enough love to give to others, and enough faith to know that our Heavenly Father will help us through the hard times.

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I love my home. I will love my home wherever it is because I will be able to make it a place of the Lord. I will love my ward whatever ward it is because there will always be good people trying to follow the Lord and live the gospel. I will love my husband no matter how much he slacks because I have no fears that one day he won't love me. I know he's a great man who really does wish to make me happy. I will love my children because they are a precious gift from the Lord. I will love my life in whatever place, shape, or form because I realize that my life is a gift and I could lose all of my blessings in the blink of an eye. I am so grateful for ALL I have whether great or small because all those things make me... me! I hope that by reading this you all will take inventory of all you have and you will truly be grateful for all the blessings with which the Lord has blessed you! Thank you all for being wonderful blessings in my life!