What? You didn't get my Christmas card this year? I'm sure the mailman lost it. Certain of it! Actually I did have great intentions of getting Christmas cards out. I wrote this little letter and never quite felt like it was right. I've finally come to the conclusion that while I would really like to send a Christmas card out this year (since I didn't send one last year) that I'm giving myself a pregnancy pass. Let's be honest if I can get out of bed and get showered and dressed it's a successful day!! So here is what happened with the Robison family in 2014...
Kent~ Working hard with the same company and taking great care of his family! Having fun in the scouting program again working with the 11-year-old scouts. Continues to enjoy horse-back riding in the mountains and hunting when he gets the time.
Marlies~ Climbing mountains daily...or at least feels like it...as she is caring for the family while growing a little one who will be joining our family the end of February/first of March. She was thrilled to be able to see a little of Seattle this year while attending a good friend's wedding.
Braxton~ Turned 8 and was baptized this summer & started cub scouts. He also started 3rd grade this fall. He loves playing soccer and hiking with family, building and playing with Legos, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and reading.
Cort~ Turned 4 last month and he is a hoot! He is enjoying his second year of preschool and loves learning letters and numbers. He also enjoys his days home with mom. He loves to cook and has an active imagination with his stuffed animals. He's also gaining his own appreciation of Legos and anything his brother will play with him.
We have had a wonderful year and look forward to our new adventures with another baby in our home. We feel truly blessed to have you as friends. You have touched our family's lives over the years and we appreciate it. We hope that you have had a very Merry Christmas and wish you the most wonderful New Year in 2015!
It's a funny thing when someone asks me "Do you know what you're having?" I'm a little unsure how to answer. Yes, medical technology & someone's best guess says we are having a boy. On the other hand our parental instincts had us convinced we were having a girl. Plus the many feelings over the years that we were supposed to have a girl. Not to mention my sister who was told she was having a son & got a daughter or my "daughter" who we found out at 36 weeks gestation was actually our oldest son.
You see these are the reasons I don't fully embrace the idea of another boy. So far my intuition has been 100% on target. Best medical guesses have been 50/50 in my experience. Would I like a girl? Yes, I would love one! Am I against having another boy? No! I love boys. They bring their own joys & challenges in this life. Plus I love the boys I have. Why wouldn't I be happy to have another?
The hardest part is the confusion I have about the idea of having another boy. Before I became pregnant I had some special experiences that led me to believe that The Lord wanted to bless our family with a daughter. I have also had very strong personal feelings & desires that after this pregnancy I can be done with childbirth & begin a new chapter in my life within the next few years. If I am supposed to have a girl & this is not her then does that mean that I am not done with my child bearing years? Is there a daughter still waiting to join our family or were we wrong?
I will be 35 years old when this baby is born. We tend to have 4 years between our children. Does that mean our next child will have to wait until I'm nearly 40 years old? If so does The Lord not understand my feelings of wanting to be done with the baby stage? As I say there are quite a few factors that confuse me if this is a boy.
If this baby is a girl then so much makes sense for me. I can be comfortable knowing my family is complete. If it's a girl then the feelings I've had my whole life of mothering a daughter where for a reason & not just a fantasy. I hear girls are difficult & very challenging, but I see a very different relationships between mothers and sons than the relationship between mothers and daughters as children grow up and create their own families. Sons don't usually grow up wanting to be like their moms. Sons get married to women who rightly become the main woman in their life while girls will often marry and their mother can still remain their best friend.
While I would love to have a daughter for me I would also like my husband to have a daughter and my sons to have a sister. I feel that deep down they also need another feminine influence in their life. Kent needs a little girl to wrap her daddy around her finger and my boys have really expressed a desire to have a sister. These are some of the reasons that this pregnancy has been a difficult one for me. I've come to the conclusion that if this baby is indeed a boy then I want that to be 100% confirmed to me when I have the opportunity to meet this child and not a moment sooner. For now I am happy with a 75% chance it's a boy and 25% change it MIGHT be a girl.
I don't know with 100% certainty what the Lord has in store for me. I think I know what he wants for us, but I am only human & I too make mistakes. Either way whether this baby is a boy or girl I know one thing. I know this baby was meant to be mine. I am supposed to be this child's mother. If I am supposed to be it's mother than that makes it ok. The Lord will help me mother this child just as he has the other two. I am thankful for that knowledge and boy or girl I am thankful to have this child bring more light and joy into our home.
I wanted to take a moment and capture the fun of life with this little one right now. You don't get these days back and I'd hate to ever forget the clever things he says & does as he is discovering his world. This morning I went in to wake up my big kid for school. A moment later I heard a little voice saying something like, "You have to come wake me up mom!" It wasn't a preschool day for him, but apparently he needed a little love and attention from his mom this morning.
A couple of months ago we took the boys to the Water Conservatory because they were releasing a bunch of butterflies into the sky. It was a fun event. We tried to get our oldest to get a pic with Spiderman, but he was adamant that he did not want to do it. This little one was more than willing to get his pic taken with him.
It may be hard to tell, but he had just got into some chocolate without asking and had this great idea to hide under the table...I think he figured I wouldn't catch him under there. He has since taken to sneaking food and eating it under his blanket. I swear though we do feed him.
Two fingers represents his second year in preschool.
We have been so blessed to get help with his speech delay through the district preschool.
See all the great words he can say. Thanks to an episode of Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood
he learned the word Frustrated and used it very well in context.
He LOVES his dog.
I am so thankful that my kids have a ready made friend
who is always eager and willing to play with them.
He will frequently head out the door and tell me his dog wants to play with him!
A few Sunday's ago Kent had this great idea to spike his hair up like a flat top.
We had no idea how much he looked like Lewis from Meet the Robinson's until we did this. Now Kent tries every Sunday to convince him to wear his hair this way, but this kid likes his hair down!
About a month ago I woke up to this mess in my freezer. It's what happens to raspberry sherbet when melted. I was quite stressed thinking that we would have to find the money for a new fridge while working on paying for a baby. Turns out there are controls in the fridge that had been turned up so nothing was freezing anymore. My little one did a good job helping me clean the mess he caused and hopefully will not want to touch those controls again.
He is the sweetest boy ever. He LOVES to pick flowers to bring into his mom. Turns out this beautiful weed was growing in the yard and he decided to pick it for his mom. You can see the pride written all over his little face!
The other day I was scrolling through Facebook with him on my lap and this ad popped up on my screen...
...my son saw this photo and said, "That girl turned into a dad???" I suppose in his mind only boys have abs like that. I'm sure he figured that out from his dad's washboard stomach. *wink, wink*
A few days later a friend was over and I was overhearing their little conversation. This picture, though slightly unclear here, sits on my bookshelf and as my little one walked by it he announced to his friend that "his mom and dad live in a cave!" Maybe we should dress as cavemen for Halloween. lol
I love to watch him play and to play with him. The world of his imagination rocks!
The other night I took the boys to what we call Castle Park.
They love playing at this park!
He made me laugh as we were decorating for Halloween. The boys pulled out the Halloween costumes and while I told him that these were dad's scary gloves for his hands my little one was sure they were supposed to go on his feet. Today when he wanted to see his dinosaur picture I realized that they do look like dinosaur feet. Clever boy!
He even wanted to wear dad's scary mask that he was terrified of before.
He was so proud of himself the other day that he had built his train track all by himself.
When I complimented him on making a heart he wanted to take a picture with it.
I'm pretty sure he built this as a monument of his love for his momma. ;)
He's always putting on my blades and trying to skate.
I'm amazed at his desire to conquer difficult things.
There is nothing that can stop this boy.
Today we were reading the book "Go, Dogs, Go!" He was talking about the little dog jumping rope in this picture. He was looking for his mom and then decided that his mom wasn't at the dog party she was home. He decided that the dog was just there with his dad and the mom was at home, but as he was scanning for the dogs mom he saw this dog on the other side of the page...
...he pointed to this dog and informed me that this dog is his uncle. As I got looking at the dogs they were the only spotted dogs on the page. The thought process this boy has amazes me. I had no idea the joys that would come in watching my children grow and discover their world.
I am so thankful that I have been blessed to be the mother of these children!
I was really excited to be in Seattle this weekend to celebrate with my good friend Ian when he married his beautiful bride Kaylene! It was a lot of fun to be there and hang with my friends Molly and Josh as well as their mom Christine and brother Jake and his girlfriend Erin. We had a great time together and it was a lot of fun to see so many good friends from my youth! It was fun to laugh and catch up. The events were as follows:
We got in Thursday about noon.
We started our adventure down at the Pike Place Market
Our first entertainment was this nice young man who was doing a street performance.
He sang three songs:
"I love my mom"
"I love me dad"
and "I love myself"
The Song names were also the song lyrics and the music was the same for all three songs.
He was pretty funny.
The Farmers Market was amazing.
I'm pretty sure that if I lived in Seattle I'd be getting flowers every time someone went downtown!
Beautiful full bouquets for only $5 or $10.
Molly, Myself and Josh posed for a well placed picture right into the sun...
but this spot looked iconic!
After having some lunch at the Market we headed to our hotel to settle in. That evening we enjoyed a dinner in honor of Ian and Kaylene. Molly and I ended the evening sitting and visiting with Ian's sisters Chelsi, Sasha, & Demri as well as Ian's cousin Bethany. It was a lot of fun to catch up with them.
Friday morning we had a few hours to kill so we headed out to Snoqualmie Falls that we lovingly nicknamed Don't Follow Me Falls.
Molly and I trying to capture the falls in a selfie.
Christine, Jake, Erin, and Josh in front of the falls.
My selfie and the falls
On our way to Snoqualmie Falls we saw a sign that said U Pick Blueberries -->
We figured if we were there we should go pick some blueberries.
It was a ways out of our way, but the country was beautiful!
Jake and Erin picking away!
Molly modeling the bucket!
Christine showing off the goods!
That afternoon we enjoyed the most beautiful Wedding Sealing in the Seattle, Washington LDS temple. The groom had one of the happiest smiles I have ever seen him smile. Such a blessing to be there!
The Family of the Groom
ATTRACTIVE best men!
The Reception was at a small zoo and while I was skeptical of how a wedding at the zoo would work it was a beautiful, fun, and wonderful party/reception.
Two tigers who believe it or not are brothers!
The man who raised these tigers taught us a lot about Tigers that we didn't already know.
It was great!
Josh and a few others gave a wonderful toast to the newlyweds.
Kaylene is quite the party planner...
all the way down to the details of the root beer bottles.
At the end of the night they lit this lantern and watched it drift away.
Mothers of the newlyweds were terrified of this starting a fire, but to my knowledge no fires were reported that week.
Saturday was a trip back downtown for a tour of Seattle's Underground. Apparently when early settlers came Seattle had major problems with flooding. They solved the problem by building above the ground level. It was an interesting educational history.
I got a kick out of these tour buses.
This is the underground view of....
this! Crazy I know!
There were problems with plumbing at high tide...
this was the solution. lol
Before our plane trip back home we had lunch on the docks at Ivar's. By the time we got down there and got our food we were pretty hungry to the point of being ornery. We started joking that we were hangry. lol
It was so fun to sit where we could watch the boats.
I loved seeing the ferry.
The fire boat was pretty cool too.
And it always reminds me of the Pacific Northwest to see the barges.
Overall it was a marvelous and fun trip to Seattle. I hope sometime soon to take my family back for a visit. It such a beautiful part of the country. I am very thankful for all the help from my friends and family who took care of my kids so Kent could work while I was able to enjoy the blessings of wonderful lifelong friendships and to be there to support one of my closest friends. Thank you all for your help and especially you Kent for all you did and all you continue to do to support me!!!
This morning I took the dog for a walk while my youngest rode his bike and when I told Mr. Magoo (the little one) to peddle faster he said "I can't." He has obviously not learned the rule about the word "can't" in our home. In our house "can't" is a four letter word. We don't use it. It's not allowed. Now before you think that I am out of touch with realistic limitations I'd like to explain a little about where this rule came from.
As a little girl I am fairly certain that "I can't" was an overused phrase in my vocabulary. I imagine there were mornings where my mom would tell me I needed to get dressed and tearful sobs of "I can't" would rush from my mouth. Girls have a way of making things dramatic so I have learned. In grade school I was never confident in my athletic ability. To be honest I didn't start to believe I had any athletic ability until I was an overweight and unhappy mother of one. I made the decision that I could not hide from the photographs in my sons life just because I didn't like my size. That was when I decided to do something about it.
At the suggestion of my midwife to help me deal with post-partum depression I started out walking for 45-60 minutes a day. The more I walked the faster I became until I found I had to start running to push myself. After a time I became faster and faster and could run longer and longer. During that time the farthest I ran was about a 10K (6.2 miles). I knew I could go farther, but I never got around to it before I got pregnant again. I did get at least as fast as a 9 minute 15 second mile run. As I ran my high school P.E. teacher was in my head reminding me that I could do it. I would laugh as I thought about that young high school girl run/walking and complaining at the back of the class of side aches. Oh how Mr. Hilliard must have been rolling his eyes and shaking his head at my "can't" do attitude. That can't do attitude as a teenager became a can do attitude as a young mom and I was thankful for his patience with me when I was younger.
It was during this time of accomplishment that I realized that "I can't" is never an option. There are many different ways to rephrase "I can't" that are more truthful. Sometimes it's really, really hard...and that's ok. The reward is better if it's not so easy. Other times it's not that important to you and so you don't make it a priority. There are also years when there is more work and more pain than is worth the end result. I'll even let my kids say I don't want to. Also acceptable because it is taking ownership of why you are CHOOSING not to do something. "I can't" is a cop-out. It takes away your ability to choose. I can't, therefore, there is no reason for me to try.
Last year I embarked on a journey to really move my Discovery Toys business forward. I learned a lot. I still have roadblocks that I need to move in order to make my business what I set out for it to become last year. The great part about this kind of business is that it is your own. You can speed up your momentum or slow it down to maintain it. Truthfully this year I am barely maintaining it. I have struggled to recommit because I felt the pains of feeling unbalanced when fall came and while I know it was my choice I am now struggling to choose to work that hard again because I don't know how to slow the train down once it is rolling downhill and it is just easier not to push it up the hill in the first place. What I have learned about throwing out "I can't" is that it allows me to choose. Everything comes with a price. Right now I am choosing to focus my energies on family & friends and the work that I have here at home. The best lesson that I have learned through my efforts is that with persistence and hard work "I CAN!" I know and want my kids to know that we CAN do anything. We just have to decide to do it and then work hard! You CAN have anything you want if you are willing to do it...and that is why "can't" is a four letter word at our house.
The other day I was sharing pictures with my kids from the blog and realized that I need to spend more time here where my kids can come back and visit.
Here are some highlights from our spring!
We enjoyed watching the mother and father duck hang around the neighborhood...
We were pretty excited about the duck egg we found in the backyard...
...unfortunately after we finished fixing this fence that blew over in a wind storm the ducks couldn't find their way back to the egg and no baby duck hatched.
We did enjoy guessing what kind of egg is could be though!
My Big Kid had his 2nd grade program
He did a report on Germany.
It was fun to go and support him in his presentation.
Here is a link to watch him perform the Haka with the other 2nd Grade Boys:
