Small & Simple Things

Tonight at a church meeting I was reminded of the difference that can be brought about by small and simple things. In Alma 37:6-7 it says, "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls."


As I sat there thinking about the small acts in my life I realized that it does not take much at all to lift a spirit or to serve the Lord. Immediately two people came into mind. My great friend Kourtney and our neighbor Rob. When I had moved into our apartment after Kent and I had just been married I was oblivious to the need I had for friendship, but every day as I drove in and out of that apartment complex I would see this woman with the most friendly smiling face who would take the time to smile and wave at me. She didn't jump in front of the car or bang down my door to meet me, but very simply she showed me that she was kind and accepting of me as a newcomer. She made an impact in my life before I ever got to know her and call her my friend. 


Interestingly enough that is how things have been this last year in my new home. Every morning as I took Braxton to and from the bus stop this neighbor would drive by after taking his kids to and from school and he would make it a point to wave to me. I found myself craving that fleeting moment of attention everyday. In fact to the point that for a very short time it began to worry me. After such a warm and kind reception from a total stranger Kent and I decided to stop by with some Christmas cookies and from there we have been thrilled to get to know him and his wife just a little. We look forward to getting to know them even better! 


Neither of these individuals set out to change their world in an instant, but in an instant they did change mine. You never really know how far a little kindness will go. Another great friend that has set an example for me is my friend Kristen. The first thing I EVER heard from her mouth when we first came to our new ward was in a quiet whisper, "I REALLY like your shoes!" While those are great shoes I have watched her many times give these same very genuine compliments to total strangers. She too is an example of simply loving others.


Think about it. In an instant you hold the key to turning around anyone's day by letting your goodness and light show. The other day I was at the post office listening to a woman get mad at the post clerk for a legal policy that the clerk had nothing to do with. He was just the deliverer of bad news. After the woman stormed off the clerk said, "Well who can I piss off next?" I came to the desk and said with a smile on my face, "sorry that's not going to happen! I just need to mail this." I tried to lighten his mood a little and I can't say that it worked, but at least in a little way I did try. 


If you think long enough you will begin to see that it is the little things that matter most. Think of your hero. The person you love and adore. What was the last high dollar gift they gave you............? Most likely they have not given you anything all that expensive. It is most often their time and energy that you appreciate! When I think of one of my great hero's, my Grandma Holdaway, I think of how she would bring the family together for parties and all the love and service she would put into those events, but were those the reasons I loved and adored her? No! It was in those small moments when she would put her arms around me and tell me how much she loved me. It was her taking the time to teach me how to sew. When I think of the love my parents showed me it was in those times when my mom would sit down and read to me. It was when my dad would help me with my homework. It was coming home from a date and knowing my mom (no matter how tired) would listen to me and have joy with me. 


As a mother I realize that more often than not all my boys need is to sit on my lap and read a story. All they want is their dad and I to sit down and play a game, watch a movie, or play with toys together. Five minutes of car crash rally is enough for them to feel loved, and secure. Knowing that their mom and dad love each other because they kiss each other when dad comes home is all that they need. Being secure in the knowledge that there with be someone there to put band-aids on hurts and pull the covers up at night is enough for them. 


I sometimes find myself getting caught up in the notion that I want to have a big and grand and amazing impact on the world, but I can't be amazing in the world until I learn that I AM grand and I can make amazing impacts in my home. Anyone can be a teacher, construction worker, dentist, or doctor who wants to be, but I am the ONLY mom that my boys have. If anything ever should happen to me someone could try and fill my shoes, but no one can truly replace a dedicated loving parent. This great quote seems to wrap it all up for me, "The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak". ~Hans Hofmann, Introdcution to the Bootstrap, 1993 So what is unnecessary in your life that you need to replace? Where can you simplify your life to bring more peace and joy to others? Think about this and make an amazing effort to change the world around you one encounter at a time!

I like me because...

On my door is a heart painted by my 5-year-old that says, "I like me because...I can ride my bike." As I looked at it this morning I thought, "At what point do we go from a child who thinks everything we learn to do is amazing to an adult who believes that nothing we do is amazing?" It reminds me of the talk, "Happiness, your Heritage" by Elder Uchtdorf (of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) where he discusses the difference between the way he and his wife, Harriet, cook. He explains how she will make a lovely perfect meal and feel it is inadequate and yet he is quite proud of his ability to make toast. Somewhere along the path to adulthood we learn this terrible idea that we can't be amazing anymore or perhaps that it is only reserved for a select few. But why?

As I keep pondering the heart on the door I realize that we don't have to do anything amazing to feel good about and like ourselves. My son's heart does not say I like me because I am an amazing bike rider who does the best stunts you have every seen. No! He says I like me because I can ride my bike. Can you ride a bike? Can your mom, dad, brother, sister or even your grandma ride a bike at least at one point in their life could they ride a bike? Most likely the answer is yes! So why does that make it any less amazing that you can do it? We don't have to be the best at what we do to celebrate that we can do it. I am terrible at doing math in my head, but can I do it when I absolutely have to? YES! See, I AM amazing!

Ok so here is my challenge to whomever reads this Blog (no cheating if you read this you are now expected to do it). Write down 20 "I like me because..." finished sentences (you are an adult so yes you do have to do all 20. Sorry!). Remember they don't have to be things you'll be receiving an award for. Just think of 20 things that you are happy to be capable of doing. It can even be as simple as I like me because I can make toast. So go head and give it a try. I give you permission to celebrate and like yourself! If you're brave enough report back to me and tell me how you did and how it made you feel. It might just be the thing you needed to make you feel amazing today. Here's mine...

I like me because...
1. I have strong legs that can run.
2. I have GREAT hair. :)
3. I am a Fantastic mom.
4. I still love my husband after 9 years of marriage.
5. I can write.
6. I can bake bread.
7. I can overcome my challenges many of which are mental challenges.
8. I can read.
9. I can garden.
10. I am fun to be around and easy to get a long with.
11. I am happy.
12. I can play the piano.
13. I can teach gospel principles.
14. I can related to kids well.
15. I can create works of art.
16. I can lift weights.
17. I can organize a two weeks meal plan and only have to shop every two weeks.
18. I can make tasty & healthy sugar free smoothies.
19. I make delicious homemade whole wheat waffles.
20. I love the Lord and work hard to improve myself every day in many ways.

Ok now it's your turn! Go!

The Forgotten Princess

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful little princess with skin white as snow and hair black as night named Mary Louise. Mary was a bright and happy little child who absolutely loved to play with toys and friends and go on special outings with the King and Queen as well as the other members of the Royal Family. She always knew she came from a special family, but Mary had been sheltered from the knowledge that she was indeed royalty. She lived a life much as a peasant girl would live so she never even thought about he possibility of being royalty. She was just Mary Louise.

Mary Louise was so sheltered from the knowledge that she was of noble birth that when the other girls said she spoke too much or treated her unkindly she would find herself in tears and feeling of little or no value. She sometimes felt like an outsider in her little kingdom. She was lucky enough to find good friends as a young child, but even luckier to find life long friends upon her families move to a new kingdom in a far away land. These young people she called friends filled her with love and life experiences and she found that she was truly happy. At this time she indeed lived the life of a royal in her heart.

Years went by and it was time to leave her parents home in the kingdom in search of her prince. Now many fairy tales would have the prince fighting for the love of the beautiful princess, but when a princess doesn't know she is a princess sometimes she has to fight to find her true love. This was the case with Mary. She searched in many place to find her prince charming. She did not find him in the tunnels where she lived. She did not even find him in the tallest towers. She thought she had found him through the introduction of an acquaintance. She so easily feel in love with this young man that she waited for him as he went away for a two year "crusade". Upon his return she discovered that her knight in shining armor was actually in love with a princess in another kingdom. She was heart broken.

After many encounters with dragon-like men who blew fire and uncertainty from their mouths she did finally meet a true knight in armor. Well it was more like, dirty armor, but once it shined up he looked great. This prince even came with his own horse. As time allowed her to see that he truly was a diamond in the rough she began to fall madly in love with her handsome prince (who was also unaware of his own royal status). As time continued she and the price were married and then the real fairy tale began.

What no happily ever after you ask? Well have you not heard the story of Rumpelstiltskin? That marriage didn't lend itself to a happily ever after either. No, this is where the new chapter of Mary's life began. Upon being married the new queen begged and begged her king to have a child, but the King was certain that it was not time yet for their family to start. After some time the begging became more than the King could handle and he finally gave in and told the Queen it was time.

Now when Cinderella got married she was blessed to live in the castle and marry the handsome price who took her away from the chores and the ugly step sisters. Well, this story is not Cinderella's. Upon the arrival of the new prince the Queen thought that this would be her happily ever after, but in fact it was not. She began to wonder if she had been trapped. She felt she had been captured by a terrible, horrible beast who forced her into servitude much like that of Cinderella. She was expected to do the cleaning and the mopping and the feeding and the dishes. How could such an adorable tiny child create such a beast of a mess? How could she feel so trapped inside her own castle? But she did. These days there was no more dancing with the price at the ball. There was only stinky diapers and sticky walls.

She had always known that she had wanted to have a family so as she became more and more adapted to family life she realized that she would have to give in to the yearning to have another baby or succumb to the life of parenting an only child. So she and the King added yet another prince to their small family and they began to realize that the castle could not hold their growing family. So they moved into a new kingdom and began to rule their new domain.

Now you may think this is where the happily ever after come in, but it does not. You see this life is about working hard and enduring difficulty so that at the end of our lives when the happily ever after does arrive we will know that we truly are happily living. There is no such thing as one happily ever after because we are always challenged so that we can continue to grow. Does that mean that there is no happily ever after? No it does not, but sometimes happily ever after comes in small moments.

Some of the best moments in life are those happily ever after moments that get us through the work and the enduring of difficulty. Those are moments when the King puts his arms around her and says, "Thank you for all you do for our family, I love you." They are hearing her oldest young prince tell her, "I love you too mom or thanks mom!" They are in the laughter of her youngest prince when she open the door to his room in the morning and he is delighted to see her. They are seeing her two boys play together and love each other. Those moments come when she realizes that after 9 years she still loves her King. Happily ever after comes in those family vacations every now and then.

Now you may ask did the Queen and King ever find out that they are royalty? The answer is yes and no. When you are a child of God and you actually take a moment and remember that you are of a literal spirit royal lineage how do you not know? But you see that would make us ALL royals correct? Do you know that you are royal? Do you live as though you were truly royal? Unfortunately even the King Trent and Queen Mary struggle to remember where they come from. That too is a part of this life, but I do know that one day they will know how truly royal they are and at that point it might just be because they are truly living happily ever after.

Secret to Longevity?

"To my friends in a relationship 5 years or longer: What's your secret to longevity? Go!" This was the post of my friend on Facebook. With yesterday being my 9th wedding anniversary it has got me thinking. What is the so called "secret"? Does 5 years REALLY count as longevity? What should I change and what should I keep the same over the next nine years. 

The secret? Commitment, sacrifice, selflessness, compromise, spirituality, understanding, and sex (well if you want to know the secrets...???). First of all it takes commitment. Too many people are entering relationships with the idea that they are trying on clothes to see if they should buy. America marriage is NOT a shopping spree! You don't try out every flavor and wear out an outfit only to return it in a matter of years. It is a commitment. Relationships are more like goals. 


For example in my schooling years I had the goal to graduate (I know I was a reach for the stars kind of gal what can I say).  In that goal I had to put forth effort as you do with any worthy goal. I had to #1 show up to school EVERY day. #2 I had to ACTIVELY PARTICIPATE in the learning process. #3 I had to do my homework.


Same thing with marriage. Having a successful marriage is a goal so therefore it requires work. You have to be committed to being happily married EVERY day. Of course you are going to have good times and bad, but truly it is a choice you BOTH have to make to show up to that relationship 100% committed EVERY day.


How do you actively participate in your marriage? It's easy. Talk to eat other in peaceful tones. We have so many ways to communicate (ie: texting, Facebook, phone call, face to face) these days why not use those ways to communicate with your spouse? You also have to be willing to get active together. That includes (but is not limited to) date nights, family togetherness, exercise, support each others events, hug, kiss, be intimate on many levels. If you are viewing your marriage as a spectator then you have got it ALL wrong!


Just as in school marriage has homework (so to speak) except in marriage the homework comes when you are away from home. When you are not together are you still presenting yourself as a married woman/man? Are you faithful to your marriage in thoughts, deeds, and actions? A happily married person has NO desire really to look for love and acceptance from a member of the opposite sex outside of their marriage. This last comment may draw some criticism, but to them I would say can someone who is looking for love and acceptance outside their marriage REALLY be happy? Really? If you find you are craving that attention make sure to be honest with yourself and be willing to admit that to your spouse. Make sure to let them know that you are seeking for their help to get things back on track.


Now as to longevity I think if you really want to know the secret look beyond a 5 year marriage example to a  30 and 40 and 50 year marriage example. These people know something of hard work and longevity. Today I talked with a friend about a couple who has been married probably about 40 years or so. The wife has been battling cancer for a few years now and she is losing the battle. If you want to know about longevity talk to the husband who is selflessly working to keep his wife comfortable when comfort cannot be found. Talk to the man who is sick with worry over his wife and wonders how he can better help her. Talk to the man and woman who still have date night even if it is just sitting on the couch holding hands while they watch "Sleepless in Seattle." If you want to know about how to make a marriage last ask yourself who you are more concerned with, yourself or your spouse. I know even I at 9 years of marriage have found myself far too concerned about me and what I want when I should have been more concerned about my spouse and how I can help him.

I guess that would be the first thing I would change. I need to be sure and realize that when I am thinking about myself I am not thinking about him and what I can do to help him. I will stop expecting him to know what I want when I have not told him. I can stop setting unnecessary expectations of him in my mind. I will start understanding when he is too tired to stay up late and visit with me. I will be slow to anger and quick to understand.


What would I keep the same in my next 9 years? I would still sit and listen and try to understand when my husband talks about a work project that I know nothing about. I'll be sure to back up every decision he makes in regards to my family and our children. I'll still try and make him laugh even if all I get is the slight turning up of the corners of his mouth. On those days when all I can see is who he isn't and what he doesn't do I will fight to quiet those thoughts and remind myself who he IS and what he DOES do.


In a few words the secret to longevity is not giving up on your marriage, loving your spouse unconditionally, and providing heartfelt service to one another. One thing I have often said of marriage is that "The grass is not greener on the other side. It's just another kind of grass." If you want to be happily married start by believing you ARE happily married and then behave as such. It's likely that as you start to focus on loving and service your spouse that they will in turn want to love and serve you. If you and your spouse want longevity in your marriage then you will put a lot of hard work into making it happen. It is said that anything in life that is worth having is worth working for!

9 years and counting

Happy Anniversary to my handsome husband Kent!

Yes I do still own a camera...

It seems that this year Leap day replaced April Fool's Day. April Fool's, you thought spring was almost here, but winter has finally arrived. As Kent went to Scouts that night it was snowing, but I didn't expect too much as we hadn't really seen snow all winter. When Kent came home he stuck his head in the door and asked if I wanted to come help shovel the driveway. I was a little curious as to why he was asking since every other storm he had taken care of the shoveling himself. When I came out to shovel I discovered that there was a LOT of heavy thick snow on the driveway. Enough that I wouldn't want to do it myself. In fact it was the first time I saw the neighbors break out the snow blowers. Welcome winter! I hope you enjoy your stay, but feel free to leave soon. :)

The best part about the snow was the opportunity to create our first snowman at the new house...Braxton was a huge help. He ran around encouraging me as I pushed the snowballs that made the snowman. I think he was aspiring to a management position.:)

This is my baby's curl documentation. I don't imagine they will last long, but they are too cute to not have a picture to look back at. I love when he gets out of the bath and he has these cute little curls around his ears!

I THINK I was trying to show the wrinkles he got from loving his bath SOOOOOO much.

The cutest thing ever is watching Cort find Braxton's cars and drive them all over the house while making the driving sound. I am SO over my disappointment in not having a girl this time. Cutest kid ever.

Somewhere in my decor I have pictures of Braxton in the bath at about this age. They are some of my favorite pictures and I used them previously as decor in my bathroom. I decided if I am going to put them up in my bathroom here I have to have pictures of both boys so here are my Cort bath pictures. 

Just in case you didn't see how cute my little on is here are some more pics for you...

Told you he is cute!

Finally I had the coolest view of the moon through the trees out my back window. The picture doesn't do the view any justice, but you can still get the basic idea. It looks cool!

So yes I do still own a camera...and sometimes I even use it!!!